So…my fiancee may have a rare and deadly type of breast Cancer. Key word is may but it doesn’t stop me from going into a bit of a panic attack. I realize no matter what I will stand by her but if she has it my fears of how I will be supportive when I feel like the very foundation of my being is crumbling below me…it becomes difficult to fathom. I will cross that bridge IF it comes to that.

I pray it doesn’t. I need to change my way of thinking. Be positive. Be cheerful. But the fact of the matter is, when you see a crack in a dam that is obviously getting worse, it’s hard to pretend it isn’t about to burst.

I feel like a tornado of emotions. Fear, hope, doubt, anger, denial..hope will stand stronger with time. Hell, nothing is even set in stone yet.

Jess, calm the fuck down.